What You Should Bear in Mind While Dating Online

Geplaatst op 29-03-2024

Don’t rush fences.

Don’t rush things unless you both understand that’s exactly what you want. There’s nothing shameful in it – we are adults, looking only to meet for fun now and then, and if you’re fine about it, there’s absolutely no problem. The only thing we still insist you should remember is that you must meet your partner before you really know whether you want them or not.

We will tell you the story, showing the most common situation in online dating, and you will probably keep your ears open. The guy, getting into online dating, started writing emails to a girl who seemed for him to be exactly what he was searching for: with a great body and face, sexually adventurous and very smart and funny. To be brief, she seemed to be a virtual jackpot. Later it went even better, when emails turned into 2-hour phone calls every day, which were the same amazing as letters. They both have got a confidence that this undoubtedly was the start of the true relationships they were looking for.

However, after the first 2 hours face-to-face with the girl on a weekend, all the guy could think of was only to get away from her. You ask why? ‘cause he discovered that this amazing virtual creature was such the bag of wind he’d ever met in his life, not having any real own thought. The only thing not appearing completely different in her when meeting face-to-face, was her physical attractiveness – she looked the same as on her pictures. To tell you the truth, the guy also upset her in the same way. Neither he nor she really lied about themselves. The reason of confusion was that they were not able to discern all aspects of their personalities by exchanging emails or talking a few times on the phone. All these became apparent only in prolonged face-to-face meeting. Their incredible romance (as was intended to be) never lasted a weekend. Therefore there’s the only way to really get to know a person – the old-fashioned requisite face-to-face contact. If the failed romance of their characters evolved slower, they could get a change to learn the “body language” of each other and understand each other as complete individuals. Then it could probably end differently. And probably not.

So even if all you need is a simple hook-up, you still better do it traditional way – write a few emails, make several calls in order to get to know each other a bit better, and only then have a date. However, you shouldn’t insist on something must happen that night. It’s fine that the first date is meant for getting acquainted and that’s about it. It would be a nice surprise if something happens later, but in the real life any compatibility, including sexual, is a stubborn thing. Remember, that it really reveals completely when you meet face-to-face.

Be even more cautious if you’re searching for something serious. Of course, in most cases women are the same in reality as in the emails and on the phone, but there’s always a possibility for her to appear someone different. Also, if you want your relationships to last awhile, take you time before jumping in and deciding it’s what you were looking for.

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Talk over the phone.

This can’t be stressed enough. Chat rooms and e-mails are only a way to begin a good communication and nothing more. The trick is that it might be not her writing those letters. You must exchange phone numbers and talk to the real person in advance. We also have lots of stories like the one above, but only about people coming to want their talker from the emails, and finally discovering that “she” is actually a “he”. Or, say, that her “three years your senior” is really thirty. So the talk over the phone is the best step aimed at breaking the ice and helping you get to really know your partner before throwing out, say, a thousand dollars when going to meet in some distant place. Also it will help you understand if she’s really interested – that will be when she begins calling you, too.

At long last, it usually takes more time and attention to spend an hour talking on the phone to each other, than it does to compose three lines to a person, no matter how clever these lines may be. In addition, it is an unusual way of check on the women you’re getting interested in – if a person answering the phone will be male and claiming himself her husband or boyfriend, then you might decide to forget about her. If you still feel like getting acquainted with the girl in such a way, then concentrate on your email’s form, as well as the content, in order to get some confidence in yourself to get her attention.

The last thing that’s worth keeping in mind is the way males and females think and perceive. The girls are usually geared toward the verbal forms, as compared to the guys, who are thinking more mathematical. The woman takes notice of how you say something, almost in the same way as if would have been said in the email.